Ok guys, cat’s out of the bag: I was in Newport! (That’s in Rhode Island). Providence is an old haunt (college, PVD Pops) so I gotta lotta people in the area but I really just wanted to be alone for a few weeks, so that’s what I did (hence the mild secrecy).
Newport recap
I rejoiced in the gym, figured out a gym-to-scenic park (to park the car)-to-beach rhythm that was amazing (yes I am as particular about my beach as I am about everything else and no I will not tell you which one it was unless you ask me individually) and Albie and I had a delightful time: daily brushies (I put the cat hair in the compost, of course), enough laser pointer to qualify him for the Olympics and nighttime and morning cuddles. I saw my family, dried all my clothes (by which I mean my 3 all-black outfits) outside in the hot sun, cooked lots of weird little Uncle Val meals, made some gym friends (and went to see improv with one of them) and the rabbits ate almost all my zinnia seedlings (you little fuckers). All in all a magical and restorative time. Then I zipped up to Providence (via ferry!) for a quick hang with an old friend and was off to Logan the next day to go from New England to Old England. I’m currently in Ware, UK, cat sitting another little beast but more on that later. First I will continue to underscore how weird and organized I am:
Yet another use for the GCal
This is going to make me sound like a huge nerd but I think it’s actually a very good idea. When you travel for long stretches and have products that you use daily that are annoying to obtain abroad, it behooves you to know how long they last so you know how many to bring with you for a certain length of trip. To this end I’ve started recording the first day that I start using a product in my calendar so that when it runs out I can reference the start date and know roughly how long one unit lasts for. Then I can know how many to bring with me on my next trip. I take no pleasure in the precision or the calculation—I’m just trying to standardize/minimize my decision making when I travel.
Wait, but the Rocky Road
When I was still in Austin I got real deep into an H-E-B tub of Rocky Road, which you may not know is probably my favorite flavor of ice cream. I wanted to relive the magic in Newport, but all I found was Häagen Dazs and Tillamook and both were lacking. Häagen Dazs is too firm and their version of a marshmallow is a gooey jizz swirl (sorry but it is). Tillamook had good texture and great little marshmallows but the chocolate base was not chocolatey enough and the mallows and almonds were too few. H-E-B killed it with their smoky roasted almonds and a chocolate that while not super dark, was just right for the flavor. If you have a Rocky Road you must recommend, please let me know, and in the meantime here’s some Rocky Road maybe history.
Tick-Tock
Newport was so chill that I was afraid I wouldn’t have anything to write about but then I remembered that no visit to The Northeast is complete without a complimentary tick bite. I blame my blackberry gluttony at Sachuest Point for bringing me too close to the local wildlife. When I found him (presumptuous, I know) he was embedded in my left side boob (bold) and I gently removed him and put him in a plastic bag and sent him to Ticknology (unfortunately not my first tick rodeo). Pretty sure he was a dog tick, and not very engorged (disgusting word) but better safe than sorry (and maybe dog ticks carry other diseases?), especially when traveling. As of this writing my sample has been received and testing is in progress—fingers crossed!
A brief and uneventful recap of my transatlantic flight
I flew direct from BOS to LHR and brought some really crazy/stupid/fun stuff in my luggage because I had a checked back for the first time in ever. Rest assured that I packed a full roll of blue tape (3M Blue 2090) as well as my undisputed title of gayest straight woman alive. The flight was too short to really sleep so I watched Sisters and Notting Hill (cultural preparation) and caught a few short zzz’s because the seat next to me was empty and I could sort of lie down. Then I trained to London and back out to Ware and now I’m hanging out with my feline companion Oscar in between town and nature explorations. My inaugural Trusted Housesitters sit!
Tour du Gym and Tour du Grocery
I arrived Friday morning and I’ve been a busy creature, figuring out the bus system (major boner for public transport), visiting 4 gyms (I’m a bit of a gym goldilocks, oops) and exploring the local grocery store hierarchy (I must know who has the best version of everything I like). I am a firm believer in prioritizing exploring/going further afield over convenience when in a new place because that’s how you find the good shit. If you find it at the beginning you can enjoy it for the duration of your stay.
Fruits of my investigations so far, in no particular order:
1. Good unsalted butter is impossible to find. There’s some distinction between baking butter and eating butter that I do not yet understand. Kerrygold salted it is then.
2. Many drinks have wack sweeteners that I don’t want. However…
3. There are many flavors of Fentimans and I will try them all! So far the Rose Lemonade is epic and the Curiosity Cola is good too (and yes I get them at 2 different grocery chains).
4. I can finally indulge my love of elderflower via this Elderflower Cordial, which I have already mixed into lots of chilled water and even some skyr (seltzer is next). Hopefully black currant offerings sans weird sweetener are forthcoming.
5. Tesco’s comté is above-expectations delicious
6. Tesco’s lean beef chunks are also delicious even though I am pretty terrible at cooking meat (this is why I need a man, to do the meat stuff). The sachet of Central Market bulk chili powder that I packed with me also helps.
7. The sweet potatoes here are so tender and cook down nicely. I had no idea.
8. It took 3 pharmacies to find the equivalent of rubbing alcohol (surgical spirit), which I only use to clean my earrings and nail clippers and I just used it and it doesn’t seem at all like rubbing alcohol and smells like root beer. 🤷🏻♀️
9. I love induction stoves
Other Musings
• Have you ever wondered why the fingernails on one hand grow faster than those on the other? I have, and I also have investigated. They say the nails on your dominant hand grow faster because it experiences more use/trauma but my left nails grow faster. We need answers!
• I am getting closer to being able to sleep and poop anywhere and I am very proud about this. Let me know if you need the mailing address to send congratulatory flowers.
• I am completely converted to packing cubes. I bought a very basic set (no compression, what even is that?) and my shit is contained like never before. Recommend!
• The cat litter my UK feline friend uses is so much less nasty than US cat litter. It looks like little sunbleached landscape pebbles not toxic gray dust crunchies of unknowable composition. It’s either this or something similar.
• You may know that I love a rideshare app and it turns out Bla Bla Car is not the big dog in the UK. I am now a proud member of Liftshare (via the Mobilityways app).
• A rather unfortunate pattern: I keep going to places with very hard water. My cat sit in Ware has a filter, which does make things better. But also, does any place in the world have normal water? Is this a proximity-to-the-sea thing? Am I dumb?
• So far I experience the British as helpful and friendly (exceptions being my brief moments on London transit; rude) but almost comically repressed. I have never been apologized to so much in my life and it’s been 4 days.
• I already have a grocery loyalty card (Sainsbury’s Nectar) because I am ridiculous but also human so I enjoy free money.
We know I found a gym but did I find a community garden?
You bet your ass I stumbled upon one without even trying! And I let myself in and talked to one of the gardeners and also emailed the town officials that manage it to see if I can spend some time in the dirt there.
Spoiler: They responded this morning saying the plots are individually rented and there are no volunteer opportunities. We’ll see about that…
I love you
While on the Tour du Grocery I found some chocolate-covered ginger biscuits and as I was standing in line to pay for them the guy in front of me was being real weird to the cashier and when it was my turn she told me he said “I love you” instead of “thank you” so I did the same and we had a nice laugh about it. (It calls to mind the YMH drive-thru challenge.) I randomly saw the same lady in the street today and called out, “Hello, I love you!” We both laughed again. Success.
Current deep thought
Travel planning can be so exhausting because there are infinite choices, but our little moron brains aren’t built to handle that. Pet sitting puts a helpful framework around your trip; you have location constraints and some light life responsibilities and somehow all the other choices/decisions fall into place on top of that. I’m into it.
I know this is already 3 novels long but it’s time for photos. Comments (either publicly or privately) are welcome, as always.







































gorgeous photos!